I’m writing to you under the best of circumstances.
I’m sitting in the dark of early morning, when the air is cool like a pond.
There’s a rooster crowing across the valley and raindrops are plink-plinking off the leaves.
Remember when I wrote to you about “roaring chi“?
My chi is roaring this morning.
It’s roaring for a couple of reasons.
One, The full Queen moon is coming on, lighting everything up and helping me see both the vastness and potency of my little life up on this mountain.
And two, The Warrior has me psyched. Fired up.
More specifically, the Queen and The Warrior have teamed up to put my Warrior Why in neon lights like a palm reader’s shop in Vegas.
Like a full moon over the desert.
Like a bay of bioluminescence.
I have no doubt, seeing as we’re so alike.
So it’s funny that last week I forgot to mention my Why.
Especially given my propensity to use my own parallel experience as a teaching tool.
But first, a confession.
And I think you’ll get it.
I’m pretty nervous to write this Warrior Why out for you to see.
I mean, it’s the whole fucking purpose of my life…written in a newsletter.
That’s vulnerable, yo.
But I know if we were sitting knee-to-knee, which we will someday be, you would tell me yours.
And we’d chest bump and high five, we’d sing and roar with chi as we set out to do the damn thing.
The sacred thing.
The tender, wonderful, immense thing at the core of our design.
Here’s my Warrior Why, the thing that keeps me strong and focused, the thing that breaks my heart when I think of it not existing.
The thing that kicks my ass and wakes me up in the night and pulls tears and sweat and the deepest sweetness I’ve ever known from my being.
It’s about you.
It’s this: I was born to create and protect the space where women unfurl and claim their wild nature, their magic, and their wisdom.
I am a protector, above all.
Did you know?
Have you caught glimpses of my ferociousness, seen hints of fangs and claws?
Have you seen something huge out of the corner of your eye, like a bear, only to realize that it’s “just me”?
Or, maybe I’ve even pissed you off when you asked for something and I said no.
Or when I challenged you to show to fuck up.
But now you know why.
I am clear about what I am protecting.
I protect the space where women heal.
Where they feel their genius, their depth, and their birthright magic.
Maybe you’ve looked at one of my classes and thought wow Katie’s kind of intense about punctuality and stuff.
Because, I get how precious time is for women, and I’m here to defend and protect it, even from your own self.
That self that may not quite feel it’s worth yet, not quite feel deserving of time away from job and family.
Or the self that does not yet value the time of others, a patriarchal wound if there ever was one.
That self whose Warrior Why is still kind of quiet, kind of buried; unborn.
Maybe you’re afraid it’s not in there, that Warrior Why, or the magic, or the genius.
But I can see it from here.
All the way from here, under the light of this Queen moon, I can see it.
And now you know, and maybe even trust, that I — with my claws and fangs and ferociousness, with my honey’d heart– am here to hold space until you see it, too.
And then I’ll hold space for you to be with it and get to know it.
And after that I’ll hold space for you to wield it, get fluent with it.
And then I’ll hold space for your chi to roar.
I will roar with you.
For the rest of my life.
Because I was born to.
love & support,