Being a creative is awesome.
Except when it’s not.
I’ve been a creative my whole life; filled with ideas for projects, things to express and say, ways to collaborate.
My sun is in the 5th house and you can tell.
But with creativity comes this other thing. This crippling, confusing, poorly-timed boogey man of a thing than no one ever wants at their party.
And for the last month it’s been hanging out with me and won’t take the hint to buzz off.
But this time, The Girl Child marched right up to this things and said, Hi, I’m The Girl Child what’s your name?
And the thing said, hi, I’m Anxiety.
So like any good grown up, I blended into the background so these two could have their time together, work things out, play on the playground, and make nice.
Here’s what I overheard
The Girl Child: Hi Anxiety, wanna play?
Anxiety: No. I’d rather hide.
The Girl Child: Why? It’s such a nice day, and we could have fun.
Anxiety: I don’t think anything is fun. I’m scared and I don’t want to be here. You’re nice and all, but will you stop talking to me? You won’t like me after awhile.
The Girl Child: Well, OK. But you seem pretty nice to me. I have lots of friends who will like you, too. What are you afraid of?
Anxiety: I’m afraid of everything. What if no one likes me? What if I mess up and do things wrong and you all tease me?
The Girl Child: Don’t worry! We’ll like you!
Anxiety: It’s not that easy. I’ve been here before, and sometimes I do things wrong and make a fool outta myself in front of everybody and then no one wants to be my friend.
The Girl Child: I’m really sorry that happened to you, that sounds poopy.
Anxiety: It’s very poopy.
The Girl Child: Poop is funny though! One time I pooped…
Anxiety: POOP IS NOT FUNNY (she starts to cry)
The Girl Child: Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry (she takes Anxiety’s hand).
Anxiety, feeling a little better: I mean, I kinda I know poop is funny. But, how are you so relaxed and light hearted about everything? Why aren’t you worried about people teasing you, or looking like a fool?
The Girl Child: A fool isn’t that far off from an explorer. Neither one knows what they’re doing. But one discovers things and gets to go OH WOW, and the other one just feels bad. I like being an explorer.
Anxiety: An explorer?
The Girl Child: Yeah! Like, when everything is new and unknown, and there’s a thrill at learning new things. I LOVE learning new things because my brain gets bigger and I get braver.
Anxiety: My brain feels small. I hate exploring. I hate new things. I need to know exactly where I am and what to do.
The Girl Child: I bet it feels small, you never do anything new! But hang on, did you know me before right now?
The Girl Child: But getting to know me hasn’t been so bad, right? And I was new just a few minutes ago! You’d never met me.
Anxiety: Well, I guess
The Girl Child: And I can already see your brains getting bigger from putting me in there! Look, they’re dripping out of your ears!
Anxiety (giggling): Nuh uh!
The Girl Child: Yeah! your brains are coming out of your ears because there’s so much! It’s like gooey rainbow ice cream! That happens every time you do something new. You like rainbows, right? And you like being brave and having lots of brains, right?
The Girl Child: You need a new name. I don’t think “anxiety” fits you.
Anxiety: Um, ok. What’s my new name?
The Girl Child: How about Brave Rainbow Explorer Poopsicle?
Anxiety (starting to really laugh now): Brave? Me?
The Girl Child: Yeah! I mean, you came to this playground even though you didn’t wanna, and you keep talking to me, and now we’re giggling, and you have rainbow ice cream dripping outta your ears like a poopsicle!
Anxiety (laughing, now being held down while the Girl Child acts like she’s licking her ears): OK! You can call me Brave Rainbow Explorer Poopsicle!
The Girl Child: Hey everybody, come meet my friend Brave Rainbow Explorer Poopsicle!!”
So, anyway, this is the only way I could get something written for ya’ll.
To stop taking things so seriously, stop being afraid of doing it wrong, or not writing something as good as the last thing I wrote, or if I’m tapping my potential, or if my business will fail because I didn’t send the Archetelegram out 3 times…
I had to walk my talk and get The Girl Child, my good buddy, to help me outta my own way-too-grown-up way.
Blessed be my own creations.
They circle around and teach me all the time.
love & poopsicles,