She said, one day you’ll have to support yourself.
Not my mom, or a teacher, a financial advisor, or a business coach.
These words of wisdom were administered as I teetered on one of those big exercise balls at a gym– my feet in the air, one hand over my head and the other planted firmly on a wall.
I could only let go of the wall for a second without rolling off the ball onto the floor.
I could not hold myself up.
But the teacher was another story. Balanced perfectly on her rear end, legs like an arrow out on front of her, hands raised elegantly above her head, she balanced like she was carved in marble.
She was supporting herself.
More accurately, her core was strong enough to support her.
While it’s Warrior season, or whenever you anoint with The Warrior oil, I suggest anointing your 3rd chakra, just above your belly button.
In other words, your core.
When it’s Warrior season we notice things like core strength, but not really from physical place.
We want to know about core strength in terms of character, ethics, and personal integrity.
So here’s what I’ve realized now that my 10-year relationship is over (oh yeah, did I mention?), I’m bad to lean on my “other” and sacrifice a lot of my own core strength.
I could be described as a serial monogamist; one relationship to the next like Tarzan zipping through the canopy from vine to vine.
Now that I’m single, I can feel how that’s affected my core.
I learned this in the Warrior Writers Group.
We did a writing prompt from the Materia Mystica that asked, can you describe yourself without using your relationships.
I answered, um kinda.
In truth, I’ve been a girlfriend or a wife since I was a teenager.
Some of your might use mother, daughter, or sister as your go-to identifier instead. Same idea; describing yourself in terms of a relationship with an other.
So what happens when we need to support ourselves, and our “other” is not there to lean on?
Well, at first it’s a shit show, like me flailing around on that ball in exercise class.
But if we commit, if we keep at it, if we don’t punk out and lean on something else for our support each and every time, we get strong.
We learn to engage our own core (your own wits, character, and integrity) to support ourselves.
This is Warrior medicine.
Of course I’m not suggesting your shrug off the loving support of friends and family. I’m saying that when the ships are down and you are alone, you want to know that you can stand on your own.
When geologists want to know what the ground is comprised of, they drill down and get a “core sample”; a long plug of dirt and rock that helps them see what’s what below the surface.
So, what about your core?
What’s below the surface? Is it strong enough to support you if you wanted to support yourself? Is it deep enough to provide stability, like the roots of a tree?
Could you balance on the proverbial exercise ball with out having to hold onto the wall?
I, for one, can’t just yet.
But just you wait.
I’m gonna keep at it.
Not because I need to prove myself or get ready for my next relationship, or as a frigid shield against ever relating with another human.
But rather for the sheer bliss of knowing I can hold myself up with my own strong core.
love & hydrangeas