What if you wanted to lose 10 pounds, and so your arm fell off?
Oof.
During Tantrika season, we learn how to avoid vague wanting like that.
Like a pendulum swinging wildly then coming to rest in the middle, The Tantrika archetype gets you away from “wanting techniques” that are too vague or too specific.
Wanting that is too specific has us chasing, forcing, and sulking when we don’t get *exactly* what we want.
Like if you want someone to be alive who isn’t, if want to be an age that you aren’t, if you want things that simply cannot be, The Tantrika awakens a deeper truth that helps release an insistent grip on impossibility.
For example, do you really want to be 25 years old again, or do you just want to feel a vibrancy and relationship with the future that you had then.
Do you really want a relationship that’s impossible, or do you just want a sense of connection, love, and familiarity?
I’m not using “just” dismissively.
Rather, I use it to calm urgency, to find an even keel in a storm of insistence and discontent.
When you listen for the deeper octave of desire, greater access and more opportunities open up, hopes lift, and you begin to participate in your life in a dynamic way.
Instead of giving up.
Instead of pouting.
Instead of feeling punished.
Instead of painting your walls to match the white of your perpetually gripped knuckles around something that is too specific or out of your control.
Ah ha.
Now we name the elephant in the room (The Tantrika brought her in; they’re buddies)
Sometimes, when we’re brave enough to look closely, we see that what we really want is…control.
Oof!
Control is impossible, not to mention rude.
So, The Tantrika archetype nudges you to follow that root a little further down, past control. Because, obviously you’re not delusional or rude.
You follow it down, down, down.
And what if you discovered that you really just want things like safety, peace, and well-being?
The Tantrika and the elephant high five, lift you in the air like you’re the bride at a Jewish wedding and announce, dude there are so many ways to have safety, peace, and well-being!!!!
Ways where your arm won’t fall off.
Ways where you aren’t mired in discontent, wanting stuff you can’t have.
Ways that keep you from chasing, insisting, and losing your manners out of an attempt to control.
By bravely following the root of your desires and learning to express them accurately, you now see fulfillment everywhere.
Eh-vry-where.
There is an art to Desire. It’s a language, like poetry.
When you learn to speak it, you feel the pleasure in it, instead of the not-having of it.
My friend and I laugh and say take my advice; I’m not using it.
I’m teaching The Art of Desire because I’m not “wanting right”, and I know it.
My knuckles are white, I’ve gone through 400 boxes of tissues crying over all the stuff I don’t have, and I pout like it’s my job some days.
OK that’s an exaggeration, but still.
I need to kindle The Tantrika’s wisdom, I need her perspective.
And I thought maybe you do too.
So, join me and let’s recalibrate our wanting.
This is not to “just be happy with what we have”.
No.
Wanting is important. It shapes reality and helps us on a path of personal evolution.
We are actively, intentionally wanting, we just wanna want right.
love and humidity,
xo
kv
